D and I met over a year ago at a community event. I can’t say it was love at first sight. I can say his energy and presence were notable. He seemed like someone I’d like and want to get to know. I was not, at that time, looking for any relationships outside of friendship/mentor.. I was just foraying into the kink/BDsm community, though I’d been what I call bedroom-kinky for years. Slowly over the next few months, I talked to him more and more and did come to consider him a good friend, someone who gave good and well thought out advice. *smiles* Someone who could listen to me vent frustrations and somehow heard what I meant, under my words. Someone who wasn’t afraid to tell me when I was in the wrong or being a bitch. Someone with a strong and sometimes prickly sense of pride and personal responsibility.

In the beginning of the summer we talked briefly and almost jokingly about dating but at that time his responsibilities to the two relationships he was already a part of prevented us from following through. And through that summer, we still saw each other at community events and talked easily but, we drew apart a little. We talked less outside of the community. And I wondered privately what had happened. But, he was still my friend and I was happy to have him in my life.

Fall’s big event. I had teased him a few weeks before about his not having seen my boots. I made sure to hunt him down at the event. And I made a decision. I didn’t know what had happened or where he was about us or what he would say. But I was not going to keep waiting. I wanted more. For him, me and us together. And so, I took a step. I stepped into his personal space, played the boots, and I asked for a scene. Something simple. The stairwell. Orgasm. It took him a few minutes… but then he got it. He heard, not my words…he heard what I meant.

A month of talking, sorting, decisions and changes later and we were dating. Exploring what we were and where we were going. Slowly, he became my rock. A place to stand in strength, revel in freedom, and play in joy. He held me through tears and laughed with me through delight and danced with me through rage and pain. We started talking about D/s and what that meant to each of us. Were we sure we wanted to do this? It’s not a casual step for either of us, but one we needed to make in full awareness. We discussed expectations and wants and needs and desires. And we decided that yes; we would, could, and wanted to do this. I wanted to not only be his girlfriend but to be submissive to him. And he accepted.

Slowly, carefully we are finding our way and path and joy together.

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