This past weekend…held a lot of fun and disappointment. Let’s start with the fun…

Friday afternoon I headed off to a large local event. I took off work early, gathered up my bags, settled the kids with the sitters(thank you!) and hit rush hour traffic. *grins* I always think that is a fair price to pay for the fun I’m about to have. I haven’t been able to go out too much lately and was über excited for the weekend. I had a couple of scenes planned as a top, was healthy for the first weekend in 6 weeks, and would get to spend extra time with D…fantastic right?

Well, yes. And no. Let’s go semi-chronological here:

Arrived at the hotel excited. Waving at a friend I recognized and hurrying to the front door. Tripped on NOTHING and fell flat in front of about 6 people, one of whom is a smoking hot presenter that I have a ridiculous I-feel-like-a-bumbly-teenager crush on. Mortifying much? *laughs* Ah well, such is life with my natural talent for klutz. Knees are a bit tender now.

Check in and head to unload the car. I run into a local friend who wants to gossip about some drama in the community that includes an ex of mine. Disappointment. I’m going to address a mini rant to that at the end of the post. And to save me having to type it up over and over, I’m going to put Φ every time someone brought the drama up to me. I made one trip from the car to the room and realize… I’m super exhausted and maybe not as over my bronchitis as I thought. wheeze Only two trips to go! On the second trip I ran into some friends and thank Bob*, they were kind enough to help me bring the rest of my gear up. And then I took a break… damn I was tired. Knees are achingly tired!

Unpacking and showering and coordinating with D when he’d be arriving and oh, fuck I’m late to the DM orientation. Dashed downstairs and caught the majority of it, while holding my corset strings tight. Immediately needed to find someone to tighten me up since I still haven’t mastered tightening my own corset while it’s on my body. So happens, the ex I mentioned above is the first person I see who I know can tighten a corset properly. Sweet! Chit chatted while he was tightening, about everyday stuff. Yay, I’m done, thanks. How are you? Φ Oh, community folks are being judgmental and gossipy? No, I’m not surprised. I’m disappointed. See the rant. Knees are a-ok.

Found D and we visited for a bit catching up on our day and going over our plans for the weekend. Chatted with random folk, friends, etc. Found the first gentleman, Dante, I had a topping scene with and discussed basic ideas of what we were planning. I held my cards pretty close, since I immensely enjoy ‘surprising’ bottoms with my choice of play. We arranged a time for our electric scene and went off to opening remarks. Φ Shortly afterwards I ran into a coy lady that I enjoy poking. She makes pretty noises and says I’m evil. I poked, prodded, pulled hair, pinched, pressure pointed, and kneed her. Amongst other bits of things. She squealed quite nicely. Right knee might be bruised…

After a smoke or three, conversations with D and friends Φ, and an outfit change; it was time to find Dante and have our scene. Found him and had a brief chat in the hall again about expectations/limits/wants/etc. Ok, wow, I’m really more exhausted than I thought… breathe… Check and make sure he’s aware of the tired and ok to continue. Awesome.

We find a spot and he takes my boots off. yay

And rubs my feet. Ooh, very nice

And sucks my toes. I like that way more than I thought I would.. am I developing a foot fetish?

OK. Now strip. Our scene has changed.  internal snickering

I order him to lay back on the bench after some kisses and nibbling. Biting. Scratching. Clips. Nipple torture. Rubber hose. I straddle the bench and cradle him to me while he comes down. Oh, we’re not done yet, my boy.

More biting, scratching, kisses, nipple play, clips. I cradle him again but this time continue biting and scratching. I reach around and play with his piercing, smack his balls. I like his moans. Oh, you like that more than you want to let on, hmm?

I stand in front of him and contemplate for a moment. Clothespins. Tracing wheel. Fishing bells. Yes.

He holds my string of clothespins while I place them one at a time on his balls. They look pretty and he reacts but not loudly enough to suit me. Fine

Running the wheel across his cock brings louder noises and concerned eyes from him. smiles

Don’t worry, it didn’t break skin. He sighs. Clothespins come off and it’s time for the final peak. I place the fishing bells; one on each ball. They dangle down and jingle as I smack his shaft. grins

I kneel down and pressure point his feet. Dancing bells and screaming. Delicious

And cradling him again as we wind down. Stroking his chest, I realize it’s been way too long since I’ve had a bottom of my own. Something to contemplate. Final strokes, kisses, and cleanup and we smile and part ways. So much fun

I step outside and visit with folks Φ, smoke, find D. I have a bit of an energy boost from the scene, hooray! Talk about the scene and what he’s been up to while I was busy. Grab a few snacks, out to smoke again and exhaustion comes home to roost. Oy. We decide to head off to bed. My knees are aching.

Morning. Slowly wake up. Bob*, I’m tired. There weren’t any classes in the morning that we particularly wanted to catch, so we took our time waking and talking and headed out to breakfast. My left knee is hating the stairs! A cute little French bakery/bistro. Coffee, quiche, bacon, fruit. MMmm. Feeling a bit better. Heading back to the hotel, I decide I want a nap. Yup, I’ve been awake all of three hours and need a nap. I’m limping! Left knee still hates the stairs!

Napping. D futzes on the computer until it’s time for our first class. Good info, but more basic than we expected from the class description. Head over to the second class. Great info, fantastic subject, amusing presenter…and something I can’t ever do for physical reasons. sadface Visit folks for a few, we both poke at the bruises I left on my coy lady friend, and head upstairs to change for dinner. Stairs! Knee! Argh!

Dinner out just the two of us… it’s been too long since we could do that. Just sinking into the moment with him. So, so wonderful and it eases a bit of longing for him inside of me. Leisurely head back to the hotel. Damn, I’m limping again! And suddenly, like it was just waiting for me to relax a bit… my knee is driving me practically to tears. Back at the hotel and upstairs for an outfit change. We discuss the knee and decide I should take it easy. Then we have vigorous sexy times. Shower and the cold tiles make me cry. Man, I’m exhausted and hurting.

Limping about downstairs for a bit, visiting, outside to smoke, sitting down to rest the knee. D finally convinces me to head off to bed after a good friend hands over some meds. Brief talk with a hypno aficionado and a few friends Φ while D helps out with a scene, then a last smoke and bed. So, I missed my second topping scene. And, yes, that’s right by 9:30 on a Sat night at a big event, I was in bed, drugged up. D took my DM shift and checked up on me various times. I woke up once about 1?  when he came back to the room and decided I needed a smoke. So down we went and apparently I was hysterical. shrugs I don’t recall exactly what I said. I think there was flirting with the security guard.

Sunday, we both woke up late and were slow-moving. By the time we got down stairs most of the event gear was packed up, so we said goodbyes Φ and visited with each other again for a few before he had to head off to work.

So. I fell down in an embarrassing fashion, bashed up my knee(though it seems fine now?), missed a scene as a top and a flying scene and multiple people kept bringing up drama. Negatives

I also had a wonderful scene with Dante, lots of one on one time with D, great sex, a fantastic visit with several folks, lots of sleep, and overall? I came away happy. Positives

*Fyi: Bob is my generic swear for whichever ‘god/God’ you wanna put in there.

All in all, it was a great weekend except for the multiple reminders of drama.

                                                                                                                                                                                         

SO, now it’s time for my Φ rant. I’m not even sure it’s going to qualify, because I’m not ‘angry’. I’m severely disappointed.

A couple of weeks ago I found out that an ex had broken some promises while we were dating. Now, it doesn’t really affect me in a deep emotional way too much today because he and I aren’t dating anymore and it’s been awhile, plus it really helped fill in the blanks for some unanswered questions I had. So I’m not crying or angry like I would have been had I found out when it was happening. I am, however, disappointed.

Disappointed that he wasn’t the one to tell me. That the person who did, contributed to his deceptions and hasn’t really accepted their responsibility in it. That they keep trying to blow it off like they had little to no choice. That he still hasn’t apologized. That things I didn’t know about contributed to our break up and I’m sure he’s still convinced that his deceptions had nothing to do with it. That he’d betray my trust and the trust of his other loves in that way. That because of those broken promises, he and I were pretty much doomed before we started. But those things are personal and not something I want to delve into with everyone, thanks. Back off.

You know who I am really, really disappointed in? Our community. Oh, my Bob! Seriously people? The gloating, malicious, ranting from people this whole situation doesn’t even concern!

And you all seem to either a) forget or b) don’t care that you’re asking one of the betrayed people all these questions and putting someone down that, broken promises or no, I still care about. Did it cross your mind at all to empathize or say ‘i’m sorry this happened to you’? Nope. You’re all too busy crowing about ‘how awful’ and ‘how could he’ and ‘isn’t it horrible’ to think about WHO you are saying all these things to.

You know what? He broke promises to me too!

And since when were people supposed to be perfect?

Do I approve of what he did? No, of course not.

Do I think he made a wise choice? No, of course not.

But you know what? He’s a human being. We all make mistakes. Grow up, mind your own, and stop expecting perfection. He’ll either sort this out or not and that’s his life. Go have your own life and remember that you certainly aren’t perfect either.

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