I often find myself in a spot of having to stay home from some gathering, not play party, because I don’t have/can’t afford a babysitter. Or because I already spent too much time away from the kids that week.  A lot of my friends either don’t have kids or don’t have their kids 24/7 like I do. I know a few people who only have their kids on sporadic occasions. That’s a whole different peeve depending on circumstances.

So, it’s difficult for them to remember? or relate to?

And I find that it’s difficult for me on a couple of levels not to feel resentment? No, that’s not the right emotion… because no one’s causing me injury.

Frustration? Maybe. Yes, definitely.

Envy.. not really because I’m making the choices that are best for my family. Maybe a little envious of the extra time that others seem to have?

And I’m a little frustrated by the lack of ‘family’ stuff the community has available. Again not the play parties, obviously… but there’s the community picnic once a year and… sounds of crickets… Really? Yes, I get that a lot of what we do is ‘adult’ oriented but again I don’t mean parties. And sure there are munches… Usually at bars. Again not really family friendly.

I mean things like learning how to serve tea.  Learning how to take care of leather boots. Things like that don’t require nudity. And really? What’s wrong with kids seeing those sorts of things?

And maybe I’m just more open with some of the stuff in my life. I don’t know. But my kids have seen me practice flogging and dragon’s tongue. Hell, I make both of them at home. They’ve seen me run a violet wand. And sort my rope. And carry various handfuls of implements between rooms when I’m packing for events. My fire kit sits in the front room of my house because I’m a lazy bitch and it’s heavy. And my toy box is at the end of my bed because I’m a lazy bitch and that’s the most handy spot. They’ve seen most of my fetish wear too… boots and corsets and skirts and such…

I guess I don’t understand this huge separation. I’ve always made sure to keep a balance between ‘matter-of-fact’ and ‘too-much-info’ for the kids. Neither of them are the worse for wear. Then again I’ve never understood the point of making your kids embarrassed of their bodies, their drives, or the fact that people have sex sometimes! Or that everyone is not the same…and that seems to be a prevalent mindset that people are teaching their kids anymore.

Maybe I’m just expecting  too much inclusion in a group that prides itself on inclusion?