Tag Archive: giggles


Random radio ramblings…

Woot, only three weeks between posts this time! And I’m prefacing this one with: this is strictly *fantasy* and I’m not planning on killing anyone. Contemplate that, folks. 😉

So, I listen to this morning show on the way to work each day, mostly because I’m a lazy bum about getting podcasts downloaded to the phone, and they’re funnyish. And this morning they were talking discussing a news article where a woman tried to kill her husband by poisoning her ‘undercarriage’.  I like ‘undercarriage’ because that may have been the *only* amusing line from the Dukes of Hazzard movie, which was all in all a perversion and tragedy rolled up in suckage; but I digress.

So, anyway, woman tries to poison husband through cunnilingus! Amusing and disturbing. Also, pretty damn stupid.

The radio hosts asked for callers to ‘for fun’ call in and describe how they would poison their spouses. A few were funny, but then the station static-ed out and I trailed off into my own ‘how I would poison’ fantasy land. *grins*

So, D, just in case you were wondering; yes, I have contemplated your death and how I would do it… poison would not be my first choice. But, if I were going that route, it would be the coffee.

You had to know that, right? It’d be easy and I’d be able to say that I had ‘just been in too much of a hurry’ to get my own before I left in the morning. And you’d know it was me… because let’s be honest, I’m not the ‘stab in the back’ kinda gal. I don’t do revenge or gossip or rumors and I’m more likely to tell you to your face that I think you’re a douche than anything else. Plus there’s that side of me that wants you to know it was me.

I don’t want you to think you’re having a heart attack or some stomach issue or what have you just before you die… I want you to be thinking about how I; your adoring, loving, slightly whacked out sweetie fucking killed you.

But hey, this is all just fantasy and weirdness that is my mind. *smiles*  OR IS IT?!

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Natalis

Natalis: (latin) Sometimes used to signify birthday, sometimes signifies the passage to a better life.

So, since I’m a nerd… On my birthday I want to look back on the “amusing” events for this day in history… Freely admit I’m getting most of this from wikipedia(which we all know is a pure fountain of knowledge). Hey, I’m not writing a research paper here…

Events:

1693 – Date traditionally ascribed to Dom Perignon’s invention of Champagne, although he actually did not have anything to do with sparkling wine. Making weddings, holidays, and noses world-wide bubbly!

1873 – Indian Wars: whilst protecting a railroad survey party in Montana, the United States 7th Cavalry, under Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer clashes for the first time with the Sioux near the Tongue River; only one man on each side is killed. Whilst?! Prithee dear sir, could I bother you for a moment of your time? Splendid! Now die!

1892 – The father and stepmother of Lizzie Borden are found murdered in their Fall River, Massachusetts home. Insert pop-culture reference here. And may I just say, this has done wonders for the hatchet industry.

1936 – Prime Minister of Greece Ioannis Metaxas suspends parliament and the Constitution and establishes the 4th of August Regime. Crap, there’s a regime? I want one! I have now declared this the Août quatrième regime! Glittery tentacle dildos for all!

1958 – The Billboard Hot 100 is founded.  Um… Woo? I am saddened that the song topping this chart the day I was born was Olivia Newton John’s Magic.

2010 – California’s Proposition 8, the ballot initiative prohibiting same-sex marriage passed by the state’s voters in 2008, is overturned by Judge Vaughn Walker in the case Perry v. Schwarzenegger. GOOD.

Famous Births:

1521 – Pope Urban VII (d. 1590) Cool, a pope! For thirteen days… malaria got him. And wait the only memorable thing was the first known public smoking ban? Boo, a pope!

1821 – Louis Vuitton, French designer (d. 1892) Eh. Notable, I suppose I’m just not enough of a brand chaser to care. 😉

1822-1929 – Not many that jumped out at me… various poets, mathematicians, politicians, sports players, actors, actresses etc. Two royal consorts… that was neat. 

1930 – Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, Iranian Shi’a cleric. I’m not touching the political debate on that one. Eesh.

1955 – Billy Bob Thornton, American actor and writer. Yay!

1961 – Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States. Again political debates… sigh.

Holidays:

Feast of  St. Sithney. The story goes that God asked Sithney to be the patron saint of girls seeking husbands, but Sithney said he would rather be the patron saint of mad dogs and get some rest.

Johnny Cash Day (Arkansas). Don’t get me wrong, I like the Man in Black… but seriously, Arkansas?

Also, it’s National Goat Cheese Month. Pantysgawn is a Welsh goat cheese. *giggles*

 

And now some music from 1980:

Another Brick in the Wall

ESCAPE!

Don’t Fall in Love with a Dreamer

Against the Wind

I Can’t Tell You Why

You May Be Right

 

And some of my favorites from when I was a little girl and dreaming of love… It’s interesting to see how the emotion is the same but the form that works for me has changed so… Yes, yes they are country but that’s what I listened to then… sue me.

Where’ve You Been  I wish I could have found a good video of her Love at the Five and Dime

I’ll Always Come Back  I do love KT Oslin’s music very much. I’d like a nice version of Hold Me. Here’s a live version.

And I could keep squirreling on this for the rest of the day…. So I’ll leave this for now. Happy birthday to me!

I’ll do what I want.

I’m an ADULT. You can’t buy me hot dog man… yeah.

And I have no idea why that was pertinent to today… But it made me giggle to watch the video again. Especially watching Ryan Reynolds tase (taze?) Andy Samberg in the ass.  It makes me happy inside.. I feel like little fuzzy bunnies are hopping around a rainbow while unicorns frolic under a waterfall of deliciousness. Ryan Reynolds could TOTALLY, ok I *might*, maybe,  let him  do something to my ass.  Not tasering… You know what I mean.  Nudge nudge. Snap snap. Grin grin, wink wink, say no more?

But bunnies are evil, mean,  vicious creatures and death awaits you all with nasty, sharp, pointy teeth. Lookit the BONES!! I warned you! I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no.. you know it all didn’t you? Ooh, it’s just a harmless little bunny! Isn’t it?!

*giggles*