I hear this a lot. Specifically when I’m interacting with D. Suprisingly, mostly from fellow kinksters. Usually, we’re just kissing. No groping or even ‘making out’.  Just a passionate kiss. Maybe even a ‘dip’ during the kiss.

I enjoy receiving affection from D in public. Not our love on ‘display’, but it’s a positive interaction… Why wait for privacy to express our feelings?

I’ve also been the person who’s felt ‘left out’ or like a ‘third wheel’ when a partner and his OSO interact intimately in front of me. It depends on the setting and the interaction and is usually when I feel I’m not getting my needs met with that partner. Or it’s invading my physical space, like throwing your leg over his lap and kicking me in the process… or certain things in a vanilla space, especially if they are things I asked for recently. I’ve felt extraneous and forgotten. This comes into play more so when I’m being ignored and not receiving my partner’s focus during time that is mine.

I find myself approving of passion and yet, that comes with ‘qualifiers’… very confusing at times. Some people are really shy and some bold and some are in the throes of NRE. A hug, a kiss, holding hands, being close; are all things I enjoy that help me feel close to my partner. My line for inappropriate falls around nudity/gropings/volume/energy more than anything else.. If you’re putting your hands down her pants or shirt, or if I’m seeing stuff that’s usually covered by a bathing suit or you’re moaning loudly enough to attract my attention… it’s too much.  If  you’re laying all over your partner to the point that your feet are in my lap, too much. Now I don’t have anything against making out but if you’re physically or energetically invading my space… too much.  Though that particular limit stands whether it’s a kink or vanilla space… personal boundaries.  But yeah, hand holding, being close, kissing in public, I think it’s fine.

Then there are the folk who’ve said it’s about arousal. sighs I don’t know what to say here. Do I want to see raging hard ons or damp panties everywhere? Well, no, in vanilla space;  not really. But I also know that just having an intense conversation can arouse me… so.. again, no nudity and we’re good.

On the other hand, in kink space… grins I’m a huge fan of nudity, hard men and damp ladies. Voyeuristic much? A not too much, a much too much.


Most people define for themselves what they think is OK pda. In the end, my sensitivities are my own, provided the pda isn’t physically or energetically in my space. Cause that’s non-consensual.. On the other hand; If you can’t agree or accept that people will engage in pda sometimes and that you’re going to witness pda sometimes, then I think your social options are likely to be incredibly limited.

So, what do I do when I see pda that I feel uncomfortable about? I either wait quietly until they are done or I experiment with repeating and/or holding this position, occasionally alternating with getting up and leaving the room……. SO EASY A CARTOON CAN DO IT.