Woot, only three weeks between posts this time! And I’m prefacing this one with: this is strictly *fantasy* and I’m not planning on killing anyone. Contemplate that, folks. 😉

So, I listen to this morning show on the way to work each day, mostly because I’m a lazy bum about getting podcasts downloaded to the phone, and they’re funnyish. And this morning they were talking discussing a news article where a woman tried to kill her husband by poisoning her ‘undercarriage’.  I like ‘undercarriage’ because that may have been the *only* amusing line from the Dukes of Hazzard movie, which was all in all a perversion and tragedy rolled up in suckage; but I digress.

So, anyway, woman tries to poison husband through cunnilingus! Amusing and disturbing. Also, pretty damn stupid.

The radio hosts asked for callers to ‘for fun’ call in and describe how they would poison their spouses. A few were funny, but then the station static-ed out and I trailed off into my own ‘how I would poison’ fantasy land. *grins*

So, D, just in case you were wondering; yes, I have contemplated your death and how I would do it… poison would not be my first choice. But, if I were going that route, it would be the coffee.

You had to know that, right? It’d be easy and I’d be able to say that I had ‘just been in too much of a hurry’ to get my own before I left in the morning. And you’d know it was me… because let’s be honest, I’m not the ‘stab in the back’ kinda gal. I don’t do revenge or gossip or rumors and I’m more likely to tell you to your face that I think you’re a douche than anything else. Plus there’s that side of me that wants you to know it was me.

I don’t want you to think you’re having a heart attack or some stomach issue or what have you just before you die… I want you to be thinking about how I; your adoring, loving, slightly whacked out sweetie fucking killed you.

But hey, this is all just fantasy and weirdness that is my mind. *smiles*  OR IS IT?!

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